Thursday, 25 April 2013

Chapter 15 Part B




The waiting room was a lonely place. Slumped against cool, hard plastic, Khushi clenched her fists over and over, unable to stem the dull tremor dancing in amongst the fibres of her being. It was unbearably cold. Why was it that thermostats in such buildings were set a few degrees below anything remotely comfortable? Occasionally the double doors to the Emergency Room would swing open, wafting in the distant sounds of organised chaos, only to slam shut again, plunging the room into deafening silence moments later.


Where do we go nobody knows

I've got to say I'm on my way down 

God give me style and give me grace

God put a smile upon my face


********


"Arnav....baby?" Khushi whispered.  "Wake up! Please...please...wake up." She fell to her knees, cradling Arnav's head in her lap. Trembling fingers reached out, searching desperately for the flicker of his skin. Her voice cracked as she looked up at Matt. "He...his pulse...it's weak."


He nodded tersely, on the lookout for the ambulance. The wail of the sirens grew louder. Beams of red light, stretched out into the dark side street, washing Arnav in a sinister glow. Khushi held on to her breath, watching helplessly as the paramedics took charge. 


Somehow, Matt's voice penetrated through the haze of her consciousness.


"Thirty one year old male, history of Rheumatic Fever and subsequent Mitral Regurg..."


********


In the far corner, the water cooler gurgled and spluttered, its constant hum grating against her nerves. Tired eyes found the large digital clocks. 11.43 pm. A short bitter laugh echoed out.


Happy Birthday Khushi...


********

"Pulse ox is at 95%, delivering 100 % oxygen at fifteen litres per minute." The paramedic called out.

The ambulance osscilatted from side to side, navigating it's way through night time traffic.  Khushi sat rigidly on the side of the gurney, her tiny hands encapsulating Arnav's large one. Oxygen flowed noisily through the plastic mask bringing back some colour into his deathly pale skin. She stared at the monitoring equipment blankly. 


"Khushi I..." Matt began.


"Don't." she cut him off, her voice dangerously calm.


"But I..."


"What ever you have to say....I'm not interested." 


The sound of pressurised oxygen occupied the space once more. 


********


Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!  Khushi banged her fist against her forehead. The events of the night and previous months had very slowly been strung together to form a coherent picture in her mind. The pale skin, the fatigue, the bouts of coughing, prolonged absences....how could she have missed it? It had been staring her in the face. 


The Raizada Corporation is pleased to announce it's latest venture in to applied research for new medical technologies.


Will it? Feel Better? To tell the person that you love you're dying.


I've never done a physical on the patient neither has anybody at the hospital. And they've never been admitted either.


He loves you. I can see it in his eyes. 


The patient's a Type 1 Diabetic.


It could have negative effect on their career if they were to be recognised by anyone here.


What if the one person I fell in love with abandoned me even if I knew it was the right thing for them? Could I be so selfish to beg them not to go?


Love really was blind. 

********

The wheels of the gurney, rattled along noisily as Arnav was pushed toward emergency.


"Thirty one year old male. Collapsed on site. Oxygen, Aspirin and Morphine administered en route. BP 94/52. Pulse 110. Type one diabetic. History of Mitral regurgitation subsequent to...."


The paramedics barked out vital information to the handover team. Matt took charge. "Shift him into bay two. Susie get me a central line stat. I need an ECG and blood draw. Someone page Danes."


Khushi stood back from it all, an intruder in the proceedings. It was a curious experience... watching it all from afar. Vultures fighting over a dying carcass. It was barbaric. She felt sick. 


Oliver Danes adjusted his pager as he exited the lift, walking headlong into Khushi. 


"Kiddo what are you doing here?"


He saw her stony expression and unwavering gaze. Following her line of sight he watched Matt run lead with the emergency team. He frowned....


"Is that your guy?"


********

Her guy?


Even now her heart skipped a beat at the mention of him.


Arnav Singh Raizada.


Her guy.


Tired and weary, her head lolled back and her eyes fell shut.


He's the one.


You, Khushi Gupta, are the most beautiful human I have ever met.


All I know is that once he has my heart there's no going back. It's his forever. There could never be anyone else.




I just wanted to spend some time with you.



 Let her be my doctor ok? You...just concentrate on being my girlfrie..


You want to use my jet right? Then go out on a date with me.


I love that....making you feel like a woman. Being the one that has the ability to make your knees go weak. That you react to me not because of what I am but because of who I am....I love the way you pretend to be all tough but aren't.


Gupta hurry up! My balls are freezing and that won’t be good for our future children.


I've already planned our retirement.


Happy Birthday my darling girl.


A solitary tear, pearl like in formation, slid down the plains of her cheek.


Her guy was dying.


********


"What the hell is going on Matt?" Shagun hissed quietly. 


Stood in an empty corridor of the hospital, Dr. Parker was being confronted. 


"I can't....you know I can't say anything. Not till Arnav decides to tell you himself." he pleaded hoping she would understand. 


"Screw Arnav! Khushi looks like its her funeral. She hasn't said a word to anyone of us. She won't move....respond. She's stuck to the damn chair staring at the wall."


Matt sighed, frustrated. 


Shagun grabbed at his shirt. "I swear to god Parker....fix this. I've never seen her like this before. Nothing we say is going through. J and Meg have been sitting next to her. I'm not sure she even realises that they're there." She paused waiting for a reaction but Matt looked equally lost. The dread began to knot in her stomach and her heart began to race. "MATT! Are you listening? What's wrong? Tell me what's...."


Her own tirade was cut off by the commotion coming from the waiting room. 


********


"LIAR!" Khushi screeched at Anjali as Jahnvi and Meg tried to hold her back.


"Khushi come on..." they tried to console her. "It'll be ok."


Anjali's expression was impassive but her eyes showed the pain, the guilt...the desolation. She put out her hand to try and comfort Khushi only to be hit with another barrage of accusations. Khushi stepped back noticeably and pointed her finger at Anjali's face...


"How could you?" she asked, begging for an answer, the sobs racking her body now uncontrollable. "How could you look me in the eye and lie after what I told you? HOW?"


Everyone looked between the two, hesitant to speak. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Aman stepped up next to Anjali holding her hand for support. She gulped..."I'm his doctor too..."


"F**k you!" she said in the softest of whispers. "Your kajal was too little too late. The shadow was already cast."  Pivoting on her heel she ran toward the main doors, her tears unrelenting.


"Khushi listen to me please...." Anjali called out.


Matt and Shagun ran to Khushi trying to catch up with her. Grabbing her arm Matt pulled her back against his chest. Small fists punched at his chest....


"Let me go!" she sobbed. Matt only tightened his arms around her, hugging her closer to him. "Liars!" she whispered in between hiccups. "Everybody lied. Everybody lied. Everybody lied..." she kept repeating, as if part of a hypnotic chant.


The doors to the emergency room opened. Oliver Danes looked pensive. He took in the tableaux before him. Looking at Anjali he asked...


"You're the next of kin?"


Anjali nodded. Khushi looked up from Matt's chest holding her breath, waiting for the next words.


"He's awake."


********

Ok so I know this is much shorter than my usual updates but with my recent schedule you'll have to forgive me. I also understand that he style of this update is very different but it is that way for a reason. I wanted to create a certain effect. The next update will be more back to normal and explore Khushi's thought process a little more. This update was just supposed to about her visceral reaction to the events.

So hold on to your hearts. The next update will be a little painful. Bare with me.


But this story still has a while to go. So don't think it's the end or anything. Ok next is a big thank you to ALL those who commented. I am so humbled. I can not say it enough number of time. If it weren't for your love I wouldn't have the motivation to do this. I know I don't interact with readers often and for this I am sorry. But do know that I read ALL your comments. I PROMISE!

OK now for YLME blog access. Uff! All these PM's I am getting. I left a note on the YLME thread but I will post it here as well. Please read it.


In all honesty I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I have been gone less than a week and my gmail, PM account and scraps get flooded. (I'M NOT EVEN BARUN SOBTI) I want everyone to take a deep breath and relax. I had to make the blog private for personal reasons. NO ONE HAD ACCESS. (apart from me of course) So PLEASE don't think, my loyal readers, that I am angry at you or something. 

I have also disappeared (5 days AHEM)  because recently my life has been like ASR's...ridiculous. I have been leaving in the morning at about 7.30 and coming home the next day at 1.30 am only to leave that same day at eight am. So you can imagine no time to check emails, or India Forums. 


The access is now open to everyone.Till such time of course I finish up with HAM. So enjoy it till then. I will make a decision about the YLME blog after that.

Love Sasak


12 comments:

  1. Contrary to most of the comments I've read, I do completely understand and empathize with Khushi's pain and sense of betrayal. I do understand her lashing out at Anjali. Ironically, I understand why she is particularly angrier with Anjali than anyone else. As a doctor, I would expect Anjali to be able to juxtapose a person's sensitivity and the psychological impact of an impending doom with a prior tragedies in their life. Like how knowing everything, Khushi stood strong and told Anjali as soon as she could get hold of her that she should tell her family everything - that they deserve to know everything. And she is right. As a doctor, it becomes extremely important to have a keen sense of right and wrong. Arnav is the patient and Arnav is the man in love. While my rant for him is saved for later and in no way do I think he was right either, he was still the patient and the man in love - but, not Anjali. She was a doctor and a woman. In Khushi's place, I would myself want to tell Anjali to learn the meaning of "Di" first before she asks Khushi to call her that - coz I doubt if she would've done to her own sister what she did to Khushi. From Khushi's point of view, Anjali just looks like a good actress who tried to buy her dying brother some happiness at the cost of an innocent girl - who was scared to dream and then forced to dream and then had those dreams snatched away. Again. Would teach all of them a good lesson if Khushi herself turns out to be a donor somehow and then everyone else lives on with the guilt :P

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  2. loved the update......thanx for updating it......now about the most awaitied update of this fiction, i guess...you totally rock, man.......what an update,,,, all the flashback of the dialogues and the way she reacted and then how its unbearable to digest that the one whom she loved the most, now have only few time left, may be....so the emotions are perfect.......

    Neag
    (india-forums)

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  3. feel terribly sad for both arnav and khushi. just shows how we can all take life for granted sometimes and we should cherish every moment. sobbing away :(

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  4. Gosh...small update but the punch to the heart is right on ...loving the way Ham goes

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  5. I'm crying already.. I scared to go to the next chapter.

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  6. I simply loved it. You've written it so beautifully! Every single bit of it. I especially love the part where Khushi tells Anjali that her kajal was too little too late.
    Your stories have a life of their own, you know that?

    ~nifty-nia

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  7. OH MY GOD!!!! Those emotions you wrote...was so ...I am not getting words...I am sittign in my office now..with tears rolling down, my mascara and kajal smudged..oh girl! I felt khushi's pain when she said everyone lied...so true..it was so cruel to play with her feelings...If it was me, I can never come back to my normal life again..

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  8. Wow! That is one amazing story! I just happened to find it today and started reading and could not stop till I read all the way to this last chapter! It is great to see Khushi as a doctor. You have brought out her feelings - her insecurities and fear to love anyone and then falling so hard for Arnav - all very beautifully written. Looking forward to the rest...

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  9. all i can write is im crying....amazing update

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  10. OMG what did u do.. I cries reading this part.. I hope everything will be alright.. Beautiful but very emotional update..

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